On Parenting

This whole parenting thing?  It's hard.  Really hard.  I have three completely different children, who are completely different ages, and have completely different personalities.  How do I stay consistent, and yet treat them each special?  How do I give them each what they need when they need it, without completely losing myself and my sanity in the process?  Especially when my parenting partner, my wonderful husband, is out of town so often and I do this by myself a lot?

Perhaps this is a good time to introduce my three children.  My oldest son, E., is 17 and truly a pretty good kid.  Sure, he plays video games too much, he rolls his eyes at me too often, and he hates school.  But his two favorite places to be are out in nature, and in church.  He is a loyal friend and a gentleman.  He's almost an adult, and while there are things I worry about for him, I also think he's going to be an incredible man someday.

My only daughter, J., just turned 13 and is stuck somewhere between a little girl and a teenager.  It's such a crazy time for a girl, that age where she still enjoys dressing her American Girl doll, but is also trying to fit in with the girls wearing makeup and tight jeans.  She's got a heart of gold, though....she is usually thinking of others and gets along with everyone.  My favorite thing about J. is that she knows who she is, and she doesn't make apologies for it.  She loves herself.  I adore that about her.

My youngest son, A., was our surprise child, and has been such a tremendous blessing to us.  His just turned 9 and is our little comedian.  He is funny without even trying, and has no problem being the center of attention.  I wonder if he may be an actor someday.  He's got that kind of personality.  But he's also very intuitive, and very cerebral.  He is not embarrassed to hug and kiss me and he still likes to have a little snuggle-time.  A. will suddenly come out with a very random question and I can always tell he's been thinking it through for a long time. 

So here are these three children, one of them nearly an adult.  They don't like the same things or feel the same way about anything.  Often, I say something to all of them and one of them laughs, one of them cries, and one of them looks at me like an alien just emerged from the top of my head.  One of them listens to reason.  One of them needs to just be told how it is with no reason involved.  One of them uses sarcasm way too often and needs to be told over and over again to be respectful.

We are strict parents.  I am very careful about what movies my children watch, what books they read, and who they hang out with.  I often explain my reasoning to them, but they also know that I don't HAVE to give them a reason.  They have to obey me even if they don't understand why.  I raise my voice sometimes.  I walk away sometimes so I don't say something I will regret.  I, like most parents, try the best I can to do the best I can.

Parenting is so hard.  It's so frustrating sometimes.  But I look at my children today, sitting around the table at lunchtime and laughing as I tell them about a conversation I had with my friend, and I think, "How am I so blessed?"  I see them helping each other (once in a while) and I have hope that they will make a difference in the world.  I see how they treat their friends and I have the hope for good relationships for them in the future.  I see them making good decisions and the right choices and I think that maybe they will be able to make it someday out there in the world on their own. 

And some days, like today, I can't wait until that day comes!!!  :)