On Making Room

My husband D. is a soldier in the Army, a fact that has defined many aspects of our lives.  One thing all of us are accustomed to, or as accustomed to as we can be, is that D. is out of town.  A lot.  I'm not just talking deployments.  It's true he was gone for 15 months ending in December of 2005, and again for 12 months ending last fall.  But beyond that, we rarely have a month go by that D. is not away for at least a few days.  In May, he was gone for three weeks.  This month, he is away for another three weeks.  Next month, he'll have to leave for five days or so.  Those are just the ones we know about.  There are also last-minute trips popping up.

We have our ways of coping.  I use my evenings well while D. is away, watching chick flicks and reading until late into the night.  The kids and I eat simply, relying on hot dogs, burgers on the grill, and pizza delivery.  I lie around all day long on Saturdays, reading, catching up on all the shows I've DVR'd, and chatting on the phone with my best friend, then I stay up late watching "Friends" and folding all the laundry I should have been doing all day.  I've gotten to the point that when D. is gone, it's a recipe for more "me-time". 

The problem with this, sometimes, is that it's difficult to adjust again when D. comes home.  I go back to cooking dinners made up primarily of meat and potatoes.  I give up the remote control and watch The History Channel and "Pawn Stars" with my husband instead of The Food Network and "Project Runway" on my own.  I go to bed by 11:30. 

Don't get me wrong...I don't mind it.  I would rather make these small adjustments than never have him around.  I wouldn't want to stay up late every night watching "Friends" reruns all by myself.  I would get very tired of grilling and pizza and hot dogs.  Those year-long deployments have taught me that while I make the best of his short trips away, I don't want to "do life" on my own.  I like having the love of my life by my side every day. 

D. has been gone for over 2 weeks, and will be home four or five days from now.  It will be nice to carry on a conversation with him without being interrupted by the ringing of his office phone or the bad service where he is dropping the call.  It's time for me to start making room for him again.  I'll do some grocery shopping so I can make him a home-cooked meal.  I'll make sure all the laundry is done so that the washer is empty and we can start his laundry when he gets home.  I'll change the sheets on the bed so that he can have clean, soft sheets after sleeping in an Army bunk for so long.  I'm making room.

Oh. The bed. Right. Maybe I should start making room by cleaning off his side of the bed!!